January 1st, 2019

I'm not really sure where to start, but we are looking at a tough road ahead right now.
Christmas was a very quiet affair here this year. We had a major wind and rain storm come through on the 21st and take out a bunch of trees and power lines. The girls and Michael came down for the weekend and we were able to play a few games and work on puzzles together by lamplight. We got power back at our house on Christmas Eve. Ellie brought us a big turkey that I cooked on the barbecue. We didn't do any gifts this year and just enjoyed one another's company .
As many of you know, Ron has been diagnosed with esophageal cancer.  He's getting a PET scan near the end of the month to see what stage it is and if it has metastasized anywhere else. In February we'll know whether he will start chemo and radiation in preparation for surgery or, if the cancer is inoperable then it will be solely chemo and radiation.
We haven't really shared any of this information with his mother yet because we need to go to her with as much information as possible. We are all dreading her reaction to his diagnosis.
In the meantime, he is on a liquid diet and has dropped more than 50 lbs so far. He's not in any pain, but tires easily and is frustrated about the swallowing issues that so severely restrict his diet.
I go from feeling teary and sad, to useless, to overwhelmed with the upcoming processes. It's so hard to watch someone you love endure all of this and be unable to make it easier or better for them somehow.
Fortunately, we are in Canada where he can get the care he needs without losing everything we own. We have also been blessed with a long visit from my mom while we get our heads around what our"new normal" will be for a while. I am also really grateful for the plan of salvation and keep reminding myself that whatever happens, Heavenly Father loves us and things will work out how they are supposed to.