12/05/07

This is what I should be doing right now. . . UGH! The funny thing about it is, I understand the calculus part, but the basic algebra trips me up almost every time. My final is in about 4 hours and the test anxiety has kicked in with a vengeance. I had another restless night of trying to sleep and thinking about mathematical formulas again. My stomach is upset and I am once again questioning my sanity (and wisdom) in going to school for a science degree at this stage in my life.

The stress of finances, the upcoming holiday season and vacation (towing a trailer 1400 miles in possibly inclement weather with 4 kids, 2 dogs and a very firm return date deadline) not to mention my upcoming finals (each of which is worth 40% of the total grade for the class) has me about ready to implode!

SO. . . in the interest of sanity, I am going to take a little break here and do a list. You know, one of those "100 facts about me" lists that I have seen posted on other blogs. I have read several of them and besides being interesting, they have caused me to reflect on who I think I am.

1. The word Paradox probably describes me best.

2. I expect perfection from myself, but Martha Stewart bothers me because she tends to portray herself as "perfection personified".

3. I am not a girly-girl, but like to dress-up and look nice sometimes.

4. I like playing in the dirt, wet cement, mud etc.

5. If I am told "you can't" I'm liable to die trying to prove I can.

6.-10. I can sew, quilt, knit, crochet, macrame, do stained glass, draw, paint, sculpt, and love to do anything artsy/craftsy.

11. I love to read. I read historical novels, non-fiction (History, natural sciences, word origins, cultural heritage stuff, and biographies), fantasy, blogs, poetry, scriptures.

12. I love learning new things.

13. I don't love being tested on my knowledge.

14. I love to stay at home.

15. I love to travel, see new (old) things ands meet new people

16. I took German, Latin and Spanish in high school. . .I can almost understand some Spanish.

17. I love music and have recently begun singing in the church choir.

18. I can't keep time, so I don't play an instrument and only sing in a choir because I can follow someone else and "hide" in the crowd.

19. I was a confirmed and dedicated agnostic until 5 years ago when I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints.

20. I was one of those little naked kids dancing in the park as a child, so there is still a lot of "hippie" in my soul.

21. I Love to cook, especially for a crowd.

22. I love to bake, and have taken cake decorating courses.

23. I love kids and have 4 to raise, but was never able to carry a pregnancy beyond 6 weeks myself.

24. I love watching decorating and home reno shows.

25. My mom, my aunt and my grandmother were all nurses, another aunt was a physicians assistant, my uncle was an orderly in an ER in Turkey and I was an EMT for 12 years, I am capable in a medical emergency but I hate dealing with them.

26. I have a lot of friends, but very few close ones, and none that I have kept in contact with since high school.

27. I am happy to be in Canada, but I miss California.

28. When I was in California, I skied 7 days per week for a few years. In 3 years in Canada I have been skiing about 7 times total.

29. My husband and I met on the internet and were married three days after we met in person.

30. I see myself as a cautious person.

31. In the early '80's I lived 8 houses from the beach in Ventura, California.

32. In the '90's I lived in my dream house in the mountains of Calaveras County, California.

33. I have a weak spot in my lower back and was told as a teen I would not be able to lift more than 50 lbs or do hard physical labor, like use a shovel.

35. When the doctors told me that I was already lifting 100lb feed sacks and I went on to 10 years of digging fire-line.

36. The doctors also wanted to do surgery.

37. My family said no

38. They then said 'she needs to take ballet.'

39. I took karate instead.

40. I was raped as a teen, but never told anyone about it until years later.

41. I am very noise sensitive. I like it quiet.

42. Did I mention I love kids . . .quiet kids?!?!

43. I love animals.

44. I don't love animals messing with my garden.

45. I feed the squirrels and birds.

46. I love to camp.

47. I love to hike.

48. I miss firefighting, but I don't miss climbing the hills and "sucking smoke".

49. I'm afraid of heights.

49. I love gardening. (especially the rooting around in the dirt part)

50. I often feel out of place in a group of people.

51. I love Disneyland.

52. I like to take things apart and see what makes them work.

53. My mom and I have an exceptional relationship and I miss living next door to her.

54. I went to a one room school from grades 1-5.

55. I lived in (and helped to build) geodesic domes as a kid.

OK, I have done enough diversion now, time to get back to the books one more time, besides my list seems so mundane and uninteresting to me. . .